I've kind of been in a 'holding pattern' of sorts for the last few months, and I'm trying to change that. Part of it is due to my lack of sleep (Raynier is still waking, on average, every three hours at night) and the drain that breastfeeding has on your body, and part of it is the emotional drain that is there when dealing with small children 24/7. Having said that though, complacency and procrastination have always been things that I struggle with, so I can't really blame the kids. The things I'm struggling with are making time for Bible reading, and maintaining even a moderately tidy home. I remember visiting my sister when she had only two or three little ones, and being embarrassed by the fact that she didn't keep her home tidier. Sorry Heather, I obviously had no place to judge! My Mama always told us that she kept her home clean even with four little ones, and the only difference I can see (other than personality) is that she didn't have internet/computers. I've thought about going on an internet fast (other than emails), but I can see me not holding myself to it, fudging here or there and then letting it go. So I've been trying to think of other practical ways to motivate myself. One thing I thought of yesterday was to take ten or fifteen minutes to clean something first whenever I feel like taking a break. I've tried doing it the other way, but once I sit down I don't feel like getting back up and working :P It is difficult keeping a good balance of spending time with the kids, keeping the house livable and keeping myself from getting emotionally spent. I do not want my kids growing up thinking that I always have to be cleaning and never spend time with them, but neither do I want them growing up in a pig sty.
Never mind, we'll get there in the end.
After all that though, I am very happy where I am. This whole mothering thing, as difficult as it can be sometimes, is my dream job, and jobs are more interesting when there are challenges, right? Right. I love having these beautiful children to focus my time and energy on. I love the rewards and overcoming challenges. I love that these little people love me and need me. I love seeing how much they are capable of, even as really small ones. I love seeing their accomplishments and the excited glow they get when they do something new.
And I really have fantastic support. Bryan is a big support and encouragement to me, and having his family nearby and constantly involved in our family is so fantastic. His parents have not only been great in-laws, they have proved to be wonderful Grandparents as well.
Anyway, enough about me, I have some children who are due for some attention (and not in a bad way either). <3
ETA: I just wanted to be sure that no one thinks I'm implying that my Mama didn't do things with us kids or anything like that by saying that her house was clean!